Reviews

I was thinking somewhat that this blog must be boring to the average internet user, I mean what does reading about my writing woes influence you? So I thought what am I good at and I realised complaining. So I'm gonna start doing reviews!! Huzzah!

The review i'm going to do is "The History of the West Wing":


Now I admit I bought this for the pretty pretty artwork, searching for a desktop one day I came across Guo Guo's work and sought out this book. I managed to get it for a bargain price on Amazon of around £1 not including shipping.

Now for those of you who know little of the East Asia this story may seem a little taunt to you, as it's based off a play. The person at Tiamat's reviews says this manga would have been better if it had been placed over several volumes but I know that that would be impossible, there just wouldn't be enough story. It's the same as european fairytales, you have the sterotypical characters who revolve around cultural norms. There's not much to discuss.

First off we have the interinant main character, a young man who is not girly enough for my tastes haha, who left his family and is travelling. He hasn't passed the exams to become liable for the civil service exams (a big deal in asia back then) so being a member of the class of literati he's sort of the equivalent of a unemployed person in our society.

He mets the main female character Pianpian, a renown beauty (of course) who men line up to catch a glimpse of at a temple (women weren't really allowed to leave the house, the only place that they were allowed to go with their galpals were temples and even this was heavily debated. Being a Buddhist was a bad thing for a woman back then, as... actually I won't go into a long spiel about this haha)
They meet in the ground of the temple then with the help of her fiesty maid (whom I liked :D) they met again later that night, much sexual symbolism later, Pianpain is obviously in love and doesn't want to marry the guy who has been set up for her.

Of course there's problems in the way of their romance. Since the travelling guy hasn't passed the exams their parents don't want them to get together, of course the guy is all "if I pass with a 1st then I can have her" (of course this is Gary Stu territory, it was almost nigh impossible to get a 1st back then, only a small percentage ever got the highest honours and many men spent their lives in misery unable to pass even the regional tests. You need to be versed in Mandarin and... actually I won't go into this XD) and they readily agree.

Also in a Pride and Predjucie sort of twist, turns out the guy Pianpian is engaged to is some drunken braggart who the guy knew before because he was dating his sister who is portrayed as a villain (I however loved her! I always love these sort of bitchy women "you bought me flowers, pffft... get down on your knees and beg for my love")
So the guy warns them, goes off and passes his exams with a first. However his old girlfriend arrives and tries to pin everything on the guy but the family aren't fooled and everyone lives happily ever after!

It's a typical sort of ye olde story, with blank characters fitting into moulds (but then again I haven't read the play but I know me some Chinese opera) however I didn't dislike it. It was worth it just for the guy's pouty ex-girlfriend :D and for Guo Guo's beautiful art (though I didn't really like the guy's depiction). There was one picture with I think the bitchy ex-girlfriend, putting on her make-up provocatively which I might use as a template for a scene with Angelique some time :P.

So there you go, I didn't dislike it but I didn't love it either :D

Manga at Harlequin

You know I love me some pretty pretty girls swooning over guys :D

http://www.emanga.com/

Suffering for you art

Oh my my my!!! I want to thank one person very much :DD and that is this person:

http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/art/snowflake.php

(gosh I'm sorry I can't figure out how to do the whole hyperlink thing... if anyone knows how comment XD)

I've been having problems with my novel recently, I knew that it revolved around Rana in some way but I wasn't sure what it was. It had been so much on my mind for the last few weeks, a heavy burden on me. I kept trying to figure out what it was, what was wrong. Even when I wrote I felt that I was doing it wrong... and then searching in google for help I came across this.

I did he/she's little exercise involving character motivations and I realised... that Rana had lost his motivation! After he falls in love with Angelique, it's perfectly natural that he would turn against the Emperor, but I thought, why? why would he do that? and I realise that I hadn't given him any motivation in doing so! and so I have been left with a character who didn't know whether he was coming in going in terms of his loyalty to his lord.

Gosh I realised that I had been ignoring the Emperor's backstory, in favour of Rana's and Angelique's romance so that now that the whole "omg I love you" is over, I was left with nothing to do... I realise now that when I get some time, (probably after University this year) I need to do some serious work on the other parts of the story than Rana/Ange.

However this is ok, I only started the novel seven months ago and it takes me a lot of time to figure out a novel properly, I think it took two years for QOWE, however I just kept writing and writing for that so I didn't come across that problem now.

Phew... this is a load off my mind!

Lay me low

Lay me low, lay me low, lay me low

Where no-one can see me

Where no-one can find me

Where no-one can hurt me



Show me the way, help me to say

All that I need to

All that I needed you gave me

All that I wanted you made me

When I stumbled you saved me



Lay me low...



Throw me a line, help me to find

Something to cling to

When the loneliness haunts me

When the bitterness taunts me

When the emptiness eats me.



Lay me low…

Dreams

Aaaah last night I had the most wonderful dream, it had seemed so real.

In the start I was in a bright meadow looking at some herbs, wondering what to make from them, what kind of medicines etc. I looked into the sea and combined some material to make more healing products. Then suddenly I get a quest calling me, asking me to go help out a certain character down in the hallways beneath the earth. I head off towards the place, I knew where it was as I had been there before.

I was a slim red head in this dream but I had curvy hips and liked wearing grey jeans for some reason. Anyway I headed in and found that there was a lecture in session, a lot of students were sitting at wooden desks in an auditorium. However it was just ending. I went up to my love but since he was a lot older than me we had to pretend that we didn't know each other. So I would walk down the desks helping to tidy up and whenever I passed him I would blush and he would touch my arm or my back in a loving, sort of secretive way (you can tell i'm repressed hahahah).

I sort of remember that in the past he had asked me to help him out for some reason, when I had been working down in the dark corridors. I had picked up the phone and during whatever I had helped him out with we had become lovers. However it was all hushed up as I said before he was older than me and had a daughter who was about my age.

I met said daughter because she wanted to talk to me about some problems she was having and that we would have to prepare because some evil people were coming to try and invade. I felt stange talking with her because I was having an affair with her father (although her mother had died a long time ago). We walked out into a big hall and she pointed to a hole in the floor, saying that her father had promised her that as long as his sword was standing in that grate, the evil forces could never enter wherever we were. However it was empty so I went over and placed my sword in the grate to reassure her.

It felt so real and my feelings for that man was so passionate. I felt happy when I woke up. I just wish I could remember more of it!!!

How embarrassing!!!!!!!!

Gosh i'm such a shy person really! I won a competition at smart bitches when I didn't mean to >_<, I didn't think I would win you see and just commented about how I was writing my novel about Peris, which I am >_< and then I won something! I went back to the original post and realised it was for US only.... ha......... foolish XD.

However in another aspect I am glad, to win because of my Peri idea makes me happy!! it gives me confidence in my ideas and that my book will be a success, must keep writing :P.

Problems I have with American Novels

By now you should know that i'm a literary snob but I like novels and I have expectations, is that so bad? :D.

In an attempt to get back into literature (once I grew too old for the YA literature and cultivated my own taste I lost my way) I bought some American romance books. But before I go into that, i'll write some background down.

I find it hard to find books I like, preferring graphic novels. I think this is because of several reasons, the first being that "shoujo" manga is my favourite genre of all time, in these graphic novels the men are more my "type" that is, girly. Haha I receive a lot of stick from my house mates about this but hell :) it's my choice. Secondly, the female is often rather "pure" I don't mean this in a fundamental Christian sense, I mean that often they are happy, cheerful, somewhat silly and a little naive. They are often pretty funny as well which contrasts with western heroines quite strongly. Thirdly I love art and I love male art, so graphic novels are right up my street.

I found that with novels once I left the YA section I had three genre choices, fantasy, sci-fi or general fiction (I only watch Poirot on tv so i'm not big on contemporary crime).

Fantasy would be my first choice, as I write my own books in a fantasy setting but I found that fantasy except for a few instances (such as Ursula Le Guinn) is focused towards men. I feel alienated by that genre and I can get my fantasy fix easily from computer games such as Fire Emblem instead.
Sci-fi, I don't really care for, I write books based on history, so I have no use for books based in the future.

Lastly general fiction, now I used to work in a book shop and the only general fiction books that I stocked were the ones that go along these lines
-Sister and Mother reconcile and realise how badly they treated each other, go and live in Greece and start a greek restaurant among much hoot-an-nanny
-Woman leaves husband for better life in the city, meets hunky man but is torn between him and geeky neighbour (also known as chick lit)
-Woman in 1930s lives a scandalous life on the edge, seeking lover who abandoned her during the war
and etc. etc.
Why bother then, you may ask. Well my work suffers as a result, I need to read in order to aquire skills such as decent description.

None of these things really appeal to me. However thankfully a few months ago I was rifling through my father's old books and found some books by Tanith Lee. Now Freyashawk likes these books and I loving her blog and thinking she is an interesting person, I decided to read them. I loved them. I can read through them in a week. Her books are based heavily upon fairy tales and read like fairytales, which I love and not only that but they are dark which I also love, being a lover of all things gothic. Her work follows gothic tropes such as the muddling of preconceptions, such as gender and love and I adore her description.

Now onto the crux of this argument. I love Tanith Lee's work but I need some other outlets, once i've passed on the other genres, the only genre left (except for the classics, which I do read from time to time but it's a hella hard work) is romance. This is a vastly American genre and I buy most of my romance books from American authors recommended to me via several romance review blogs.

Most of the romance books i'm reading at the moment are "angel" books, as they give me nice descriptions to use in my own work. I gave up on Sharon Shinn's last book in her Angel books, "Angel-seeker" because I couldn't stand the character Rebekah (oh i'm a wilful woman in a repressed society, -_-) and that I couldn't seperate the fact that the Jansai who are viewed in a very negative light were based upon fundamentalist Muslim customs (my house-mate is muslim and I teach english to several muslims who face this sterotype daily, so it annoys me). However getting back into my novel, I realised I needed some inspiration. So I put my pettiness aside and began to get back into it. I'm glad I did because it exceeded my expectations.

My early work resembled Sharon's quite a lot, I would sit down and write and not edit, so it came out quite sloppy and spontaneous. I realised this wasn't the way forward and started to plan and edit, I assume that she also did this for her last book as she didn't have any cardboard characters unlike in the earlier books I read, Angelica and Archangel. Each had their own motives and I found myself actively enjoying Elizabeth's part of the story, I really found her story interesting. She had gone to Cedar Hills, to have sex with an angel and bear an angel child therefore being set for life as angel children are regarded as precious. However she also has dreams of meeting her true love and therefore comes across as a sympathetic character not just a gold-digger.

She has relations with one male angel but returns home feeling used and upset, I thought this was a realistic portrayal and I liked how it was handled. However I didn't really need the sympathetic side to feel connected to her, as my own main character in my novel is a concubine and feels no remorse what-so-ever. It was a main point that I wanted to make.

However some bad points still come through but i'm not tearing into Sharon here, these are weaknesses that are natural for writers, especially me. One is the putting the character of the previous novel up on a pedestal. Rachel from Archangel is still adored by Obadiah, despite her being married happily to Gabriel. I just thought... give it up already. Also other characters often mention her and how the traits she and Gabriel have which make them perfect for each other. I have seen this is other books and if I ever wrote sequels to my own books which I don't, then I was also be tempted to have my characters think well of my previous characters.

However this is not reality. In reality people don't really care about others who are not in their immediate vicinity. For instance I don't sit at home and wax lyrical about a couple I used to know at college at every interval, or the happy marriage of my uncle or aunt. I have other things on my mind. Also I know that sometimes its necessary for those who haven't read the previous books but many other things aren't explained that should have been.

Secondly, I can't stand shortening a characters name. You are writing, not speaking it's not that hard really. Also if you would prefer give your character a shorter name, rather than giving them a nickname. I don't mind if it is a single character and their nickname is a normal name, such as Sam, for Samantha (I had one character with a nickname in my previous unfinished novel QOWE, called Margy, short for Marguerite and she and the main character were teenagers) but for every single character, no.... noooooooooo. Also I hated this about Angelica, the heroes name was Gabriel-Aaron so it was shortened to Gaaron -_-. Also if you are going to shorten it, shorten it right. After hanging out with lots of Polish people, I know that the nickname for Magdalena, is not Maga but Magda.

Anyway Sharon is a best-seller so this works for lots of people, it's just be up on my high horse and I like to complain. But there is one last thing, many American writers seem to be stuck in their college years when it comes to sex. The scene where Elizabeth waits to have sex with David in his room could have been transported to any college dorm (he comes in drunk, the room is untidy, they have really bad sex with him guttering out an orgasm and she leaves without any cuddling). I found this also in Luis Bujold's the Sharing Knife which was a wall-banger for me, I found the character of Fawn so passive and childish that I felt creepy actually reading about the much older Dag's feelings for her. In that the wardens (or whatever they are called) have rampant sex with each other in inns, just reading it reminded me of walking back to my dorm late and night and seeing random people making out and then going into their rooms.

I don't know maybe i'm being a prude here but another thing that I made sure I wrote in this novel I am writing now is that Rana and Angelique's sex is not porn but an actual loving act, so much so that the cold-hearted Angelique thinks back on it often as the only moment she ever truly felt what love was. I'm tired of these books where people have sex without love, it's just tear the shirt off, bam-wham it's over. It doesn't work for me and merely reinforces the idea of female chauvinism (buy the book "female chauvinist pig" if you are interested in knowing more) and the idea of sex purely for sex's sake.

The Betrayer

Sometimes in a strange fluke my world of imagination and my gaming world cross into each other, in some sort of midsummer strangeness. Usually I keep them separate, if I am given the chance to create a main character for a game it isn't usually any character I created for a story but then sometimes that character forces its way into my story without me realising it.

It's embarrassing for me to say that games sometimes inspire me, usually the world of novels and games are so completely indistinct but that is only a stereotypical view of games as "boy" things, which only involve violence and death. Sometimes the story can touch you just as much.

I can't deny that the game "Valkyrie Profile 2" and it's beautiful environments didn't inspire me for the description of certain places or a certain scenes in my novel. Anything beautiful can inspire you, even the most menial things.

One game I had been playing has forced its way into it's mind. My character, initially took the role of the "good" character, that is every time she was given a right and wrong choice she chose the right option, she freed slaves, preserved sacred relics, saved the lives of children and gave all her money to beggars. She even romanced the somewhat silly male character, doing all the right things.

However my character, had a fatal flaw, the fact that she already had an allegiance to a certain other person, ever since she had seen them she had sworn her life for them. I knew that right from the start, despite my character appearing to be on the side of "good" all the way through, eventually she would betray her friends maybe even resulting in the death of one in order to follow her own selfish ambitions. This would result in all her past deeds being tainted, really my character would have been "evil" all along. I knew that she would do anything to preserve the life of that wicked person.

However I don't want to call her evil, there were certain aspects which led her to this decision. (You may laugh at me for creating such deep motives for just a game but really, everything I do character wise is serious). One was that under the past political regime, she had been torn from her family to live in a school. She had stated once to another character that she loved her mother but never showed her true feelings in front of the high ranking men of the school, always being respectful and obedient. Therefore she had no loyalty to the monarchy or their bloodline but does care about those marginal groups of society.

Secondly, incitially when she responded to a characters advances she did so relutantly. Eventually she felt forced into the relationship out of duty, felt for a time as if she truly loved them as well because of the dynamic of fighting together and looking out for one another. Eventually however, she grew sick of the character and wanted to escape from that relationship but felt she could not do so at the present time as all eyes of the world were on her. Her eye began to wander on other men, deperate to escape from the shackles of this relationship and her own self-loathing.

Thirdly, deposed of a father figure at a young figure, she is somewhat drawn to men of authority and this is what caused her sickness of her lover, who possesses no leadership skills or self-pride what-so-ever.

This story of my character who appears good but is at heart willing to destroy everything she has created for one person has translated itself into my work. The story is similar of that of other women of legend like Helen and Deidre, Alicia betrays her husband to allow her lover to take the throne of a certain country. He however attempts to woo someone else in order to further his ambitions, so she believes all her betrayal leds to naught. She and Naoise eventually become lovers but this eventually leds to the destruction of both countries.

Just a little view into my world at the moment.

Resources for writers

I found a helpful webpage, detailing several links for writers. I was surprised at how helpful this was. Not only did they have an art section but also a video section, map section and classic book section, all resources I have used in my own work. I highly recommend you take a look if you have talent in writing and want more help:

http://www.internet-resources.com/writers/

writing a book is hard work. Every scene has to be done in such detail, it is painful sometimes and I had quite a few rough days over the past week trying to worm my way back into my work after leaving it for so long. It cannot be helped, however, I am not willing to sacrifice my education for a skill that may or may not be successful. Always I had hid my work from the eyes of others, I cannot bear criticism.

Once when I was younger my sister did a Tarot reading for me. I asked if I would ever become a writer and the tarot replied that I would have difficulties because of my level of skill. Even though it was just a silly game back then and a superstition to boot (something which as a Christian I shouldn't even believe), sometimes it rises up in my mind and I feel as though I am doomed to never make it as a writer.

The difference between a popular novelist and a great novelist is a large one. I recently moved out of my small reading circle of only classics, gothic novels and books endorsed by various reading lists and my parents into the realm of American Romance. I ordered several books which recieved A+ reviews from certain blogs which I visit daily and was sadly dissapointed. I found them lacking in scene control and all the characters except the main being flat and wooden.

I used to write like this before I became a horrid perfectionist because of the failure of my four-year old novel. It is the easy way, you sit and write, do a little editing and the novel is done. This however is not an option for me, I am ambitious so every scene must right down to the letter, I now understand why it takes George RR Martin so long to write his books (I am not comparing myself to him however). To make a great novel it must reflect reality, no a-sexual best friends, no self-sacrificing comrades, no, not even a guard must be a flat character. Everyone must live and breathe with their own pasts, their own loves, their own wishes, no one must be the "guard", the "servant", the empty stand-in to advance the plot along.

Not all of the great books are perfect by any means, Far from the Madding Crowd had too much filler for my tastes (but that's mainly because of the way it has aged), Hunchback of Notre Dame had whole chapters detailing the church (though I know this went vast ways towards restoring people's love of it), LotR is hard to read... let's face it but we slug through it for the rewards but I really want any novel I write to be a great one.

Through toiling and working so hard I have also realised something else, those people who are talented and think themselves better than the rest because of their talent are all talk. Talent is nothing compared to hard work, I know it's a cliche but it's true. Before I used to look down on other writers but I realised I couldn't talk, until you try your very hardest at something and realise the sweat and toil it takes to make something beautiful then you feel nothing but compassion for others even if their work doesn't live up to your expectations because they felt the same pain and suffering you felt.

I will strain and struggle and try and make this novel the best I can.

Why why why...

*cry cry cry*

I am quite enamoured by a character in the Fire Emblem games, one that was a part inspiration for Rana. I bought Radiant Dawn but didn't realise it had a prequel, Path of Radiance.

Unfortunately it's one of those old games which no longer exist so people sell them for about £50 on Amazon... *sigh*

Tomorrow I will start writing again after my month hiatus to do my exams. I have problems attempting to get back into my novel after being absent for so long. I forget the motivations of the characters and who they are. It is like if you didn't see a friend of yours for a month and so you become out of touch. So i'll reread my novel to get back into it.

Also I will explain a little about my writing process.
How a novel starts:
- I become inspired by something, it may be:
- a story I heard or read but thought that it should have ended differently
- A picture
- Something which i've always wanted to write but didn't have time until now

- The story revolves around two characters who will end up romantically involved, so I start by deciding the details of those characters and reflecting the world around them

-How I create the world
- I draw on my studies in Medieval History
- I focus on Kingdoms I know and shape them to my own ends
- I make sure whatever I decide has already happened in human history, therefore
I can't assume something which isn't realistic.

- I make a brief overview in my mind of the plot, what happens in the end. Always the story which I present in the first few chapters is based upon mysteries which happened in the past. The past is very important.
- Who are the protaganists and who are the antagonist is decided, who wins, who loses and why that happens. These are the bones of the story. If you bones poke through and the reader can see your bones then you aren't a very good writer :( (haaha I bet that sounds funny but that's the only way I can describe it)

- All characters are decided upon and what kind of impact they have upon the two main characters and what plot points they further. Those characters who are involved in the "past" events, are often shady to begin with, blank characters upon which I can place ideas as they come to me. I call these my little ephianys because they come to me sudddenly usually, as i'm dreaming in bed or on the train or sitting in my room. But I have to have the "shades" in order to make sure that those characters in the "present" are mapped by the events in the "past" (complicated sorry...)

- I break up the story into chunks, like a tree the characters break off in different directions. I decide whose branch I will write and I break up their story in parts.

- The scenes I first think of in my head usually when I am going to sleep at night. (this is becoming hard as I get older as I begin to forget in the morning, espically if I have a stressful day ahead of me).
Then I write the scene based on the scene in my head. I then go back and painstakingly re-write the scene until I am completely happy with it (this can take days).
Then when I am happy I move onto the next scene :D.

So that's a basic to my writing process :P.